🤣 Family-Friendly Jokes

Pesala

Too subtle for kids?

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit, "What is your blood type?"

"I am probably a type O," said the rabbit.

Pesala

Lunar Eclipse

Eclipse of the Cat.jpeg

MoonDawg

@i_ri

cheese , foot , ball of yarn ------- DOES NOT GO HERE

Pesala

The End

The End is Insight.jpg

Catweazle

MoonDawg

Why did the tap dancer retire?
He kept falling in the sink.

What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split.

How do you stop a snake from striking?
Pay it decent wages.

What starts with E, ends with E but usually has one letter?
An envelope.

Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance?
Because it was a moth ball.

What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.

WildEnte

"Dad, I can calculate super fast!" - "Really? Alright, what is 3+5?" - "Nine!" - "That's wrong!" - "Yeah, but super fast!"

Catweazle

MoonDawg

James Clerk Maxwell and Michael Faraday were traveling together on the Caledonian Express. Outside it was pouring rain. Maxwell pointed to a fellow in a red cap and uniform standing near an open window.

"That trainman is incompetent," Maxwell said. "He collects no tickets and calls out the wrong names for all the stations. Mostly all he does is lean against the window with his eyes shut. What a disgrace to the railway!"

Suddenly a flash of lightning entered the carriage through the window and hit the trainman directly. The current bounced off him and leapt to the floor. Miraculously, the man was completely unscathed.

"How did he survive?" asked an astonished Faraday.

"Aye, that’s simple," said Maxwell. "He’s a bad conductor."

Catweazle

https://streamable.com/it3sgw

Pathduck

Telecommunications in nature:

bd71fac6-ca1b-42fc-a451-a0755b386f39-telecommunications-in-nature.jpg

Watch out for that independent observer!

MoonDawg

@pathduck

Ba-a-nary Code works ok!

Catweazle

Catweazle

Guide Cat

Pesala

Where does Sarah Palin come from?
Alaska
Will you?

Catweazle

There is somthing wrong with the Vivaldi QR code generator

alt text

MoonDawg

60th High School Reunion

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.

They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes! Yes I will!" The evening ended on a happy note for the widower.

But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say "Yes" or did she say "No?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her.

First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say "Yes" or did you say "No?"

"Why you silly man, I said Yes! Yes I will! And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"

Pesala

Funny Signs

Source

Astronauts use Linux because you cannot open Windows in space
87% of Gym members don't know it is closed
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure
Two silk worms were in a race, it ended in a tie
Ants are healthy because they have antibodies
I went bald, but I kept my comb. I just cannot part with it
Don't give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y
Having a dog named shark at the beach was a mistake
Do UK websites use biscuits instead of cookies?
Just sold my homing pigeon for the 22nd time on E-bay.
I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.
Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak
Geology rocks, but Geography is where it is at
Psychic conference cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Catweazle

Catweazle