🤣 Family-Friendly Jokes

[Catweazle]

[Pesala]

Are you sweating whilst putting fuel in your car?
Feeling sick when paying?

You have got the carownervirus

(from BBC Have Your Say)

[Catweazle]

The ideal of beauty

[Pesala]

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

[Catweazle]

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[Pesala]

Les Dawson One-liners

• I went to the doctor’s and said, “Can you help me out?” He said, “Yes. Which way did you come in?”
• I said, “What’s good for wind?” He gave me a kite.
• I am so unlucky. Last week, I bought some bananas, and when I peeled them, they were empty.

[Catweazle]

[Catweazle]

Dog translator

[Catweazle]

'I don't understand why they get past security, if it's bombproof'
The users:

[Catweazle]

[Dancer18]

"Our daughter is taking part in an experiment. She has to wear FC Bayern (top German football club) fan gear for two weeks.

The result: she was insulted, spat at and beaten.

I wonder what will happen when she leaves the house."

[Catweazle]

This morning at the breakfast table I asked my daughter to hand me the newspaper, to which she replied, that it would be very old and that it's better to use this instead, and handing me her new iPhone.

Well, to make a long story short, my daughter crying in her room, the iPhone smashed but this damn fly finally dead.

[Catweazle]

[Pathduck]

@Catweazle Wonderful - the power of Free Enterprise at work!

Have at it, Silicon Valley executives - bring out your lawyer army and try to find this guy in the streets of Delhi!

[Catweazle]

@Pathduck , apart Gogola has a way better TOS and PP