๐คฃ Family-Friendly Jokes
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- What on earth is a comet?
- What do Vikings use to encrypt their messages? Norse Code
- Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? Don't worry, he is now fully recovered
- There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone, or tell your kids not to do it.
- Don't you wish there was a hand plane that got the job done faster?
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'This morning at the breakfast table, I asked my daughter if she could hand me the newspaper over there. Then she said merrily,' But dad, you are sooo out of date, we do it with the Internet today 'and gave me her new iPhone.
To make a long story short, my daughter crying, the iPhone smashed, but the fly is finally dead. ' -
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Posted elsewhere by Catweazle.
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Two planets meet in space. One says "hey pal, you look down, what is going on?" The planet answers "I've got people living all over me". The first replies "don't worry about it, they go away on their own".
Did I do it right this time?
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The Physics of Pain
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Posted on Twitter:
Due to the pork shortage, my butcher has begun making sausages out of sea birds.
Iโm afraid he just took a tern for the wurst. -
@Pesala , or a Hot Dog :smiling_face_with_open_mouth_closed_eyes:
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I went to the Monastery to talk to the Friar. As I went through the gates I saw a man in a long robe cooking thin sliced potatoes in a pot of oil.
I asked him if he was the Friar.
He replied, "I'm not the Friar, I'm the chip monk!" -
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@Gwen-Dragon , not only cats
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