From Russia with joke


  • Vivaldi Team

    Some fresh funny jokes and anecdotes from Russia :)

    Every day I buy vodka. Am I a shopaholic?

    The foreteller was hit by a car with the unpredictable driver.

    Three unknown men took the passport from the passerby and tore it. Now there are four unknown men.

    I had some problems, and I took the credit. Now I understand: earlier I had no problems.

    If you will save up gradually a little bit of money every month, in a year you will be surprised - how a little you saved up.

    Double threat - when one woman teaches another to drive the car.

    Fairy tale: Father had three sons. But he knew only about one.

    All consider that I small, but I simply far.

    Football arbitrator Ivanov showed at night to the wife a yellow card for simulation.

    Small tricks: your bus ticket will serve to you a little bit longer if you skip the your stop.

    What to do if the girl snores during sex?

    Give to the person a fish and he will be full one day. Give to the person the name Full and he will be Full always.

    Many think, but it not so.

    The McDonald's menu completely coincides with the list of the preparations forbidden by an anti-doping committee.

    More than all others the cashier laughs at the clown of circus, paying out to him a wages.

    The Colombian businessmen tried to open the ice cream store, but marihuana and Kalashnikov machinegun had a higher demand.

    Bruce Willis always stops a microwave in a second up to the end.

    Liechtenstein declared war to Luxembourg. These two states didn't find each other yet, but when will find, such battle will begin!



  • @Shpankov Give me back my "Report Badge"


  • Vivaldi Team

    @MoonDawg What do you mean?





  • hello Shpankov
    hello MoonDawg. MoonDawg, You have been around for years; you have recent discussion about reputation points (gee i remember when you gave to me a thumbs-up once upon a time; BTW did you take that back?) and Here You have inquired about the badge Reporter. is that reporter badge a image of binoculars or handcuffs.? Maybe a official's whistle is appropriate.
    I do not wish a reporter badge. I will whistle you for asking about it within the context of the great jokes of Shpankov. Start your own post that does not challenge, taint, or by association, introduce discredit/ сомнение, Во избежание дискредитировать to the humor of Shpankov, Please.
    We hope you get the reporter badge returned to your profile. If we report each other, then do we each get a reporter badge? or do we each get kicked-out the forum? What became of your reportee? Put that screen shot into your background picture MoonDawg. Good one. Put it on the blog. Wish to not report, but to point out, that there is another canidae avatar here, dLeon, wearing disguise in picture.
    Shpankov= still funny after all these years. Your word "fresh" first sentence is the only thing wrong today. Give to us fresh funny anecdotes and From Russia with joke. Was that a nudge from MoonDawg for more jokes? more or? well it is a request. or is demand? was that a beta badge? or MoonDawg profile need include the earned badge? I thought anything goes in this forum.
    More fresh funny From Russia with joke, Please.


  • Vivaldi Team

    @i_ri said in From Russia with joke:

    More fresh funny From Russia with joke, Please.

    :-)

    Do you know a three most popular words in the world?

    "I love you"!

    No. "Made in China".



  • очень забавно
    In Russia, joke laughs at you.


  • Vivaldi Team

    @CantankRus said in From Russia with joke:

    очень забавно
    In Russia, joke laughs at you.

    :-)



  • @Shpankov Very astute and hilarious, comrade. Why not making mad money at standup in Hollywood?



  • @Shpankov Where I from, if you not get joke...no worry. Joke will YOU, yet not laugh.


  • Vivaldi Team

    @lexx7887 said in From Russia with joke:

    @Shpankov Very astute and hilarious, comrade. Why not making mad money at standup in Hollywood?

    Only when Vivaldi get 100 mln users :-)



  • hello Shpankov , I wonder if the username of tony has been made unavailable because of tony lavaball , because I am about to say
    hi MoonDawg . I think I saw tony wearing your Reporter badge pretentiously. Should this be reported to the badge monitor?
    (I think I remember when you earned that badge over a pile of bad bloggers.)



  • A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar.
    Bartender: "Is this some sort of joke?"


  • Vivaldi Team

    @CantankRus said in From Russia with joke:

    A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar.
    Bartender: "Is this some sort of joke?"

    :-)


  • Vivaldi Team

    Two drunk guys walk into a bar and drag a third extremely drunk guy under the arms.

    • Two vodka for us and the soda for this guy - he is our driver.




  • @Shpankov said in From Russia with joke:

    All consider that I small, but I simply far.

    Is this yours?


  • Vivaldi Team

    @grinski said in From Russia with joke:

    @Shpankov said in From Russia with joke:

    All consider that I small, but I simply far.

    Is this yours?

    No :-)



  • hello Shpankov
    Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

    My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.


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